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The Last of Illusion

Posted by Creating Class 2005 | Posted on Saturday, January 31, 2009 | Posted in ,

I am a stranger in an unknown city. I am sure that I have never visited there, but I am confused why the people know me. Every one who I meet addresses me politely. When I wonder apprehending the situation, in the corner of West Street, I see a little girl smiling to me. She is about nine; the bright white jasmine under the riverside tempts every one to pick it. It looks so beautiful and fresh like her perfect beauty. It seems that this beautiful jasmine has waited me for long time to be picked by me because her gazed eyes as if it says that she has waited for my arrival, Her curly long hair is nicely waved when the wind blow touching it like the waves on the sea. I approach her and try to get some information. After passing three houses which separate us when I see her for the first time, I cannot prevent my self approaching her closely and greeting her. I smile at her and try to make ice breaking by saying “hello.” She gives response to my greeting by saying “Hello” too but without I guess before, she calls me “Nina”. I am surprised why she knows my nickname that no one knows but my family and my little close friend, Grace.

By looking at her, I flash upon my little best friend, Grace. It makes me remember her. When I was a little girl, Grace was my only dearest friend. Everyday, we always spent our time together for looking at the rainbow on the Alley Hill near to my house. She always said to me that she wanted to be a rainbow which came after rain as she believed that she will bring happiness to me if I feel sad. She passed away because of a car accident when she was nine years old. It happened twenty years ago.

When I enjoy recalling my memory about my little close friend, someone slaps me on the back, so I turn my head to him. A tall man stands behind me; he has black eyes, black hair, and mustache on his face. His thick eyebrows, sharp well formed nose make him looks so handsome. At once, I am amazed at his handsomeness.
“Ms. Catherina, your parents are waiting for you at this time, could you please follow me to meet your parents?” He said, scattering my admiration to him.
I am bewildered why he knows me and why my parents are here in the city that I consider it is an unknown city that I have never visited. As I know before I sleep in the train on my trip to London for relaxing to spend my holiday, I take the right train for my purpose but I cannot understand why I arrive at this place when the train reached the last station.

“I’m sorry for forgetting to introduce myself first before asking you to follow me. Well, my name’s Edward smith, you can call me “Ed”. He breaks my confusion of what happened to me by introducing him self to me.

“I work for you family, so could you please follow me to meet your parents?” He tries to make me sure that he will bring me to my parents. He asks me to follow him again; there is nothing that I understand but my confusion and follow him to make everything clear. I hope. When I follow him, I hear that there’re strange voices whispering something to my ears. It seems that I hear my parents’ voices and a person that I don’t know. They call my name and ask me to go home. I ignore it and continue to follow Ed.

I decide to believe in Ed that he will bring me to meet my parents. He walks beside me. When I follow him, I remember about the little girl that calls me “Nina.” I turn my head to look her but I cannot find her. She disappears.


That afternoon, I found a letter in my locker when I put my book. Its envelope was black, there was no name of the sender but it was for me because there was my name on the right corner of the envelope “for Catherina.” I opened it curiously and started to read it word by word confusedly. In the beginning, there were sentences that I think it was the sentences that were written by one who thought about the change of time. This is the message of the letter:

“The past is a time that cannot be changed but we have ever experienced it, there stays memories about what happened at that time. The present is the time that we must face and the future is the time when we create our dreams freely, as you know that you live in the present but I am here to drag you into all of them.”

I am so bewildered after reading it. Who is the sender of this letter? What does the message mean? I put the letter in its envelope and close my locker. Actually, I don’t care about the letter but after reading it, I’m quite apprehensive of the message because the letter is for me. Moreover, the sender knows me by writing my name correctly. I leave my locker and walk to home.

On my way to home after school, I’m still confused of the letter but I try to think positively that probably, there is my friend who wants to make me afraid of the message of the letter. After he or she knows that I’m afraid of the message, he or she will laugh satisfactorily. I hope the sender of it is my friend but if it’s not my friend, I don’t know the sender’s aim by sending the letter to me.

When I am in the confusing situation, I see a little girl; she is about nine. It seems that I have ever seen her before. Her face is not strange to me. She smiles to me cynically. She gazes me when I pass her; it is the strange gaze. I ignore her and continue my way to home but after I pass her five steps, I am aware that when I pass her, I heard that she called my nickname. She calls me “Nina.” I am confused why she knows my nickname that there is no one knows it but my family and my little close friend grace. She is my only friend when I was a little girl. I was nine years old at that time when she passed away because of a car accident. She was my only friend since I was four. Now, I am sixteen but I never forget her.

I prevent my footsteps on my way to home after I am aware that she calls my name. I want to turn my footsteps back to her but when turn my head to her, she disappears. There is nothing that I can do but thinking about my double confusion: the mysterious letter which I find in my locker when I put my book and the nine-year old girl who I consider that she is alike my little close friend, Grace. I continue my way to home in bewildering situation.

“Cathy,” there is a voice calling my name. It seems that I know the voice. I think it is the voice of my classmate, Dio but I am not sure that it is Dio, so I ignore it and continue my way. “Cathy,” there is the same voice again calling my name. Now I am sure that it is Dio’s voice. His voice is like a thunder breaking my memory about Grace. I turn my head to him and he is behind me smiling nicely to me.

“Cathy, there is something that I want to tell you, so can you please go with me to tell it?” before I ask why he calls me, he tells me directly that he asks me to follow him because there is something that he wants to tell to me. I cannot say anything but confused.

“Cathy, what are you thinking about? Can you hear me? There is something that I want to tell you, can you go with me?” he asks me again.

“Nothing, I am not thinking about anything; yes, I hear you. Hey Dio, what are you want to tell me about? Emm…I’m free now, I can go with you” I answer his all questions to make him sure that I am not thinking about something because if I tell him that I feel confused now, probably he will not tell me about something that he wants to tell me. I do know what he wants to tell me about but I expect that it can make my confusion clear. I hope.

“Ok, you go with me now to the Alley Hill.” I am startled when he mentions the name “Alley Hill” because it is the place where I used to spend my time together with Grace. I follow him without saying anything. I do not understand everything but my confusion of three things. The first is the mysterious letter, the second is the little nine-year old girl, and the third is that Dio asks me to go with him to the Alley Hill. When I follow him, I hear that there’re strange voices whispering something to my ears. It seems that I hear my parents’ voices and a person that I don’t know. They call my name and ask me to go home. I ignore it and continue to follow Dio.


I meet Grace this morning, she asked me to follow her to the Alley Hill for looking at rainbow. We spend our time together until evening, I always ask her to sleep in my bedroom and we sleep on my bed every night. We share our story before sleeping until the one of us sleeps, then the other follows her to sleep. She is my close friend; we are eight-year old girls. She always accompanies me when I feel either sad or happy.

“Nina,” she calls me.

“Hey Nina, do you hear me? Can you tell me what you are thinking of?” She calls me again and asks me to tell her about what I am thinking about.

“Yes, Grace. I hear you but I cannot tell you about what I am thinking of now.” I answer her questions.

“Nina, you must tell me of what you are thinking of because there is no secret between us.” She still asks me to tell her about what I am thinking about and remind me that we are close friend, so there is no secret between us because we used to share about our story each other.

“Ok Grace, I will tell you of what I am thinking about now.” Finally, I decide to tell her about my story. She waits for my story like a dry land waits for rain falling from the sky.

“Grace.” I open to tell my story by calling her name first because I still doubt to tell her my story. I am afraid she will be offended after knowing my story.

“Come on Nina; don’t let me wait for long time to know about what you are thinking of.” She is not patient any more to wait for my story.

“Ok Grace, first I want you to hear my story. Before I finish my story, please don’t ask anything, Okay? It seems that I offer option to her to make a deal.

“Of course Grace, I don’t mind.” She agrees with my option, so I begin my story.

“Today, my mother asked me about our friendship, she said that it is not good for me to play with you every time and she asked me to look for friends besides you. In the other word, she asked me to leave you. She also said that you give bad influence for me. Of course, I avoid her to leave you because you are my only friend; I have no other friends but you. I ignore her by saying that I don’t want to leave you Grace. Because of it, my mother was angry with me.” I tell her about what I am thinking. After I finish telling it, she looks at me cynically. She leaves me without saying anything. I chase her and try to apologize her if my story is offended her feeling.

“Leave me Nina, let me alone, follow your mother’s advice to leave me because I ‘m nothing.” I do not suppose that she will be angry after I tell it.

“Forgive me Grace; I do not want to leave you because you are my best friend.” I try to make her sure that I avoid my mother’s argument about our friendship but she is still angry with me and leave me.

“Grace… Grace… Grace… don’t leave me.” I cry calling her name and ask her not to leave me but she continues leaving me. I hear that there’re strange voices whispering something to my ears. It seems that I hear my parents’ voices and a person that I don’t know. They call my name and ask me to go home. Then, I go following the voices. They call me to go home; I faintly heard that there are my parent’s voices calling my name and saying that they love me.

“Nina…Nina…Nina… you are our only child, please come home and forgive us.” I heard my parents’ voices calling me. I follow the source of the voices, suddenly I see a flash dazzles my eyes and everything becomes blurring. I don’t know what happened next.


“Nina…Nina…Nina… we love you, you are our only child, please come home and forgive us.” I still hear the voices and look for the source of it. It is my parents’ voices. I see that there is flash dazzling my eyes, I close my eyes and something pull and bring me to a place. I open my eyes slowly; there is still blurring in my sight.

“Oh thanks God, she is back, oh…my dearest I miss you, I love you, please don’t leave us again.” I see my parents and a psychiatrist, my mother looks so excited looking at me and so does my father. I cannot understand of what happened to me. I try to remember everything before I close my eyes but I don’t remember anything.

“Mom…Dad…, what happened? I am so bewildered. There is nothing in my mind but my confusion. “I’m sorry Sir…Madam, please let her understand the situation. Don’t make her confused because it will make her back to her illusion again because we succeed to bring her into the real world.” The psychiatrist asks my parents to keep me in the real world.

“Ms. Catharina, are you better now?” the psychiatrist asks about my condition.
“I feel better now” I answer her question. “What happened to me?” I ask her to make everything clear.

“You are just back from your world of illusion that you create since you was a little girl because you cannot leave your fantasy friend, Grace that you consider that she is your close friend. Because of it, you cannot distinguish between the real and the fantasy. Now, you succeed to leave her because you have decided to choose the real world by following your parents’ voices, welcome back to your world.” The psychiatrist explains what happened to me and I’m just aware that I just wake up from my dream. Now, it was my last illusion because beginning from know, I live in the real world; Grace cannot drag me into the past or the future because I’m in the present now.

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