Posted by Creating Class 2005 | Posted on Thursday, November 20, 2008 | Posted in Reza Anggriyashati , UTS
(Inspired by Gabriel Garcia Marquez’s An Angel With Enormous Wings)
I saw an angel.
He was standing under a dying tree in middle of an abandon grassy yard. Afternoon sun gave me a perfect glance of him, an unhandsome old man with almost bald gray hair. The wind breezed his dreary dirty shattered wings, a type which you wouldn’t ever see at immaculate Christmas’s postcard image.
But I knew he was an angel. His feet didn’t touch dry and cloaked soil under him. Instead, he was more like vague resemblance than flesh and blood substances like me. And I knew he was an angel because my heart said so, and what you could ever believe more? He gave me his toothless smile as I moved toward him. He talked, with universal language, which didn’t have to be uttered. But you would understand it instantly because your heart, the very trusted part of your body, said so.
“I was lost”
“From what?” asked me, with mortal language, which have to be uttered since my mortal nature hindered me from not doing so.
“ A battle”
“What battle?”
“Of humanity” Then he cried, with tears that you wish you wouldn’t ever see or imagine, in the rest of your sinner days.
I instantly felt some kind guilt, the one that you felt after you yelled at your parents or hurt someone you loved the most. I didn’t know why, but I assumed it was simply because he was an angel, the most sacred being after God himself. I hope you would nod to my statement if you also believed in them.
I asked him again, “What battle that you lost and why you cried?” Instead of answering my question, he asked me to walk with him. I, who was charmed by his uncanny irresistible charisma, couldn’t resist his invitation. Therefore we strode between wild bushes until reaching the borders of city and abandon land. I immediately shouted him, “Don’t go to the city, the place was burned out with the inner hell.”
He answered me, with a beatific smile instead of an uttered language. I guessed he wanted me to follow him first then the answer would come afterward.
Then I chose to follow him first.
We arrived at the Islamic clergy elementary school in the suburban area. The class was already started; students were listening their teacher with full-adored attention. “There is no God besides Allah, and Mohammed is His prophet.” Said teacher. My memory wandered to my own childhood days in clergy school.
“When you did naughty things, you will suddenly enter hell, the place of eternal fire where sinners become its fuel.” Said my teacher. His words rose hair at nape of my neck. Then I asked him back, “What we should do to avoid hell?” He answered with solemn voice, “Don’t do naughty things and prayed to Allah all the time.”
Hell, what a chilling word. Afterward, I became a very nice young child toward my parents. I didn’t want entering hell after I die. I prayed to God and behaved in nice attitude only for avoiding hell. I didn’t want to be eternal fuel in Hell. But then I got bored easily; being a nice child didn’t bring any fun side. You couldn’t yell, play, and do anything as you pleased. Life was full with burden.
The angel grinned; I thought he was reading my own self-sin confession. I felt little bit embarrassed. But the Angel said that I was not the only one who felt like that. Hell is not only a horrifying but also captivating word. Most of people, prayed to God in order to avoid Hell only.
But was it the only core of worshiping?
How about love toward God?
I guessed no one could give me exact answer besides the Angel himself. Then I turned to him for exact answer. But I was wrong, instead answering my question; he just smiled and said that I was the only one who could answer my own restless question.
Then we continued our journey until he stopped by in the university. Again, he shed his tears. I was confused and then asked him the reason behind his tears. He said that university is the place where human starts to reject God by assuming that they are already finding ultimate knowledge of everything.
“Was it wrong? Was it human’s mission to find ultimate knowledge of everything?” Asked me.
“No, but the arrogance was the down side. When human starts to feel they are already being the source of knowledge, you only have to wait the catastrophe of humanity fall cruelly on them.”
I didn’t want to continue our debate. It would only begin another conflict, one which didn’t have any final solution since Icarus failed to fly conquering the sun. I guessed he realized it and continued our walk to the inner city.
Another stop was Internet café, the new restless shrine of modern human. People starred at the computer with full attention, some giggling and some expressing their horny face. The Angel was stand still. We talked no more but watching them. After few seconds The Angel asked me with archaic question, “I couldn’t understand but wonder why so called modern human built it.”
“It is new stage of modern communication, human could cut the distance and communicate easily with other people.” I answered with kind of proud toward internet, the best human’s invention ever. But he grinned instead of admiring, “Don’t you think internet is kind of oxymoron. When human say that they build new stage of communication, they also cut the real communication at same time. They are so called virtually talking to people.”
“Don’t you think, God is also kind of modern communication. When I prayed to God, I felt like talking in private chatting room which giving me nothing but empty reply.” I answered him with full rage, which I didn’t understand where it came from.
He didn’t give me any answer, I think he would never give me any answer and our journey would never end.
I saw an angel.
He was standing under a dying tree in middle of an abandon grassy yard. Afternoon sun gave me a perfect glance of him, an unhandsome old man with almost bald gray hair. The wind breezed his dreary dirty shattered wings, a type which you wouldn’t ever see at immaculate Christmas’s postcard image.
But I knew he was an angel. His feet didn’t touch dry and cloaked soil under him. Instead, he was more like vague resemblance than flesh and blood substances like me. And I knew he was an angel because my heart said so, and what you could ever believe more? He gave me his toothless smile as I moved toward him. He talked, with universal language, which didn’t have to be uttered. But you would understand it instantly because your heart, the very trusted part of your body, said so.
“I was lost”
“From what?” asked me, with mortal language, which have to be uttered since my mortal nature hindered me from not doing so.
“ A battle”
“What battle?”
“Of humanity” Then he cried, with tears that you wish you wouldn’t ever see or imagine, in the rest of your sinner days.
I instantly felt some kind guilt, the one that you felt after you yelled at your parents or hurt someone you loved the most. I didn’t know why, but I assumed it was simply because he was an angel, the most sacred being after God himself. I hope you would nod to my statement if you also believed in them.
I asked him again, “What battle that you lost and why you cried?” Instead of answering my question, he asked me to walk with him. I, who was charmed by his uncanny irresistible charisma, couldn’t resist his invitation. Therefore we strode between wild bushes until reaching the borders of city and abandon land. I immediately shouted him, “Don’t go to the city, the place was burned out with the inner hell.”
He answered me, with a beatific smile instead of an uttered language. I guessed he wanted me to follow him first then the answer would come afterward.
Then I chose to follow him first.
We arrived at the Islamic clergy elementary school in the suburban area. The class was already started; students were listening their teacher with full-adored attention. “There is no God besides Allah, and Mohammed is His prophet.” Said teacher. My memory wandered to my own childhood days in clergy school.
“When you did naughty things, you will suddenly enter hell, the place of eternal fire where sinners become its fuel.” Said my teacher. His words rose hair at nape of my neck. Then I asked him back, “What we should do to avoid hell?” He answered with solemn voice, “Don’t do naughty things and prayed to Allah all the time.”
Hell, what a chilling word. Afterward, I became a very nice young child toward my parents. I didn’t want entering hell after I die. I prayed to God and behaved in nice attitude only for avoiding hell. I didn’t want to be eternal fuel in Hell. But then I got bored easily; being a nice child didn’t bring any fun side. You couldn’t yell, play, and do anything as you pleased. Life was full with burden.
The angel grinned; I thought he was reading my own self-sin confession. I felt little bit embarrassed. But the Angel said that I was not the only one who felt like that. Hell is not only a horrifying but also captivating word. Most of people, prayed to God in order to avoid Hell only.
But was it the only core of worshiping?
How about love toward God?
I guessed no one could give me exact answer besides the Angel himself. Then I turned to him for exact answer. But I was wrong, instead answering my question; he just smiled and said that I was the only one who could answer my own restless question.
Then we continued our journey until he stopped by in the university. Again, he shed his tears. I was confused and then asked him the reason behind his tears. He said that university is the place where human starts to reject God by assuming that they are already finding ultimate knowledge of everything.
“Was it wrong? Was it human’s mission to find ultimate knowledge of everything?” Asked me.
“No, but the arrogance was the down side. When human starts to feel they are already being the source of knowledge, you only have to wait the catastrophe of humanity fall cruelly on them.”
I didn’t want to continue our debate. It would only begin another conflict, one which didn’t have any final solution since Icarus failed to fly conquering the sun. I guessed he realized it and continued our walk to the inner city.
Another stop was Internet café, the new restless shrine of modern human. People starred at the computer with full attention, some giggling and some expressing their horny face. The Angel was stand still. We talked no more but watching them. After few seconds The Angel asked me with archaic question, “I couldn’t understand but wonder why so called modern human built it.”
“It is new stage of modern communication, human could cut the distance and communicate easily with other people.” I answered with kind of proud toward internet, the best human’s invention ever. But he grinned instead of admiring, “Don’t you think internet is kind of oxymoron. When human say that they build new stage of communication, they also cut the real communication at same time. They are so called virtually talking to people.”
“Don’t you think, God is also kind of modern communication. When I prayed to God, I felt like talking in private chatting room which giving me nothing but empty reply.” I answered him with full rage, which I didn’t understand where it came from.
He didn’t give me any answer, I think he would never give me any answer and our journey would never end.
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